Are you smarter than a smart phone?

Published January 5, 2012

in the Stockton Sentinel,

Stockton, Kansas

     I am the proud owner of a new cell phone--a "smart" phone that can do just about everything my desktop or laptop computer can do, but with the convenience of slipping into my pocket. I have had it less than two weeks, so I am still determined to show it who's boss. But I admit there have been weak moments when I wished for my familiar Blackberry.
     When shopping for games for my grandkids' Christmas presents, I always look at the age level given on the box, even though I know "5+" or "8+" is just a reference point. Our four-year-old is capable of comprehending things twice her age, and I'm fairly certain our seven-year-old would have figured out quicker than I did, how to place calls and send text messages on my new phone. I'm wondering if the box for this smart phone should have an age LIMIT on it, something like "50-."
     Someone needs to identify the chromosome that kids seemingly have that enables them to pick up a new piece of technology and have it figured out in no time. I dare say anyone over 50 years of age does not have that chromosome; it is an adaptation that has developed in recent years.
     I have a nephew who is a natural whiz at anything techno. He got his mother (my sister-in-law) a tablet for Christmas and was so proud of himself because he was able to get it for such a great price. What he didn't know is that it was going to be shipped directly from China, and that the programming was all in Chinese. When they booted it up for the first time, the touch pad was in unrecognizable characters. Of course nothing comes with manuals anymore, but it wouldn't have matters -- no one could have read the chicken scratches anyway. But in a matter of minutes, my nephew had hacked into the operating system and programmed it for English. He restarted the gadget, and Voila! The touch pad was readable!
     Unfortunately my nephew lives too far away to give me any tutelage on my new phone. So I'll just put out this S.O.S. to anyone who has a Motorola Milestone: If you are smarter than your smart phone, I could use your help. I don't care how young you are -- I' sure even a 5th-grader would have it mastered in no time. In the meantime, I'll just keep poking around and see what I can figure out on my own.
     And I don't mind saying it... I am not smarter than my smart phone.