Published October 4, 2012
Stockton Sentinel
Stockton, Kansas
Rarely do I pay much attention to
the advertising booths in commercial buildings at the fair—whether here at the
county fair or at the Kansas State Fair. This reluctance on my part comes from
getting bamboozled once or twice by over-zealous sales folks whose only purpose
is to make you think you’re getting a
good deal.
But at this year’s Rooks County
Fair, I paid big money for an item in the commercial building, and this time,
I’m glad I stepped over to the sales booth. Many of you may have also seen it;
some probably also bought it. This was the “Magic Massage Therapy” unit and the
very busy booth in the commercial building that was manned by a very nice-looking
young man who spoke with a beautiful Australian accent. I’m not sure what
caught my eye first: him, or the TENS unit he was selling.
If you’re not familiar with this
product, TENS stands for “transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation,” which
is simply referred to as a TENS machine. According to a Wikipedia definition,
TENS is “the use of electric current produced by a device to stimulate the
nerves for therapeutic purposes.” It is a non-invasive, low-risk nerve
stimulation intended to reduce pain, both acute and chronic. There is
controversy about its effectiveness, but if you ask me, I’d say, “It works!”
Six years ago I was diagnosed with
fibromyalgia, and that diagnosis finally answered so many questions and years
of misdiagnoses. Since meeting the Aussie at the county fair and buying the
Magic Massage unit he was selling (truthfully, I would have bought rotten
tomatoes from him!), I have had this little unit in my pocket and electrodes
with sticky pads stuck to various places on my back, neck or shoulders nearly
every day. There is no controversy on my part as to whether this little gizmo
works—I know it does, for me anyway.
Because of having this apparatus
stuck to me, I was intrigued to read about a very early model of the same sort
of thing in a book I’m borrowing from my mother. The book, entitled “Buggies,
Blizzards and Babies,” is a true account of a pioneer doctor’s life, written by
his daughter. The author, Cora Frear Hawkins, was born in 1887, and as a young
girl, accompanied her father on medical calls and assisted him in his office as
she grew older.
In the early 1890s, Dr. Frear had
purchased the latest thing available for the treatment of rheumatism. Cora said
she never knew the proper name, but they just called it “the battery.” It was a
hand-operated generator, encased in a polished oak box a little larger than a
shoebox. A person would turn a crank to generate a current; the harder it was
turned, the stronger the current. Attached by cords were two cylindrical
electrodes, which could be held in the hands, and it took but a small charge to
tighten the muscles so it was impossible to let go. She described how the
electrodes could be replaced with attachments for massaging a neuralgic face or
rheumatic back—the purpose for which it was intended—but the doctor’s children
were fascinated with it for different reasons.
Cora tells of her sister Edna
demonstrating the battery on one of their father’s patients who was waiting to
see the doctor. Edna had the patient hold on to the electrodes while she
started cranking, and soon the man was writhing convulsively on the floor,
uttering strange sounds and making funny, pop-eyed faces as Edna cranked it
faster and faster. When Father heard the commotion and saw what was happening,
he sprang across the floor and jerked the child’s hand from the crank. Cora
said it took a little while for the patient to sit up and find his voice again.
I have no doubt that this “battery”
was a very early rendition of the portable TENS unit, but it was not the
earliest account. Electrical stimulation for pain control was used in ancient
Rome, noted as early as 63 A.D. by Scribonius Largus that pain was relieved by
standing on an electrical fish at the seashore. Seriously. I’m not making this
stuff up!
Despite the controversy as to its effectiveness, the concept has managed to withstand the test of time. But it has undergone many changes until now when it is a controller about the size of an iPod that I carry in my pocket nearly every day. However, like the demonstration in the pioneer doctor’s office, I do understand the “pop-eyed face” that was the result of cranking the intensity too high.
The Magic Massage Therapy does a
good job of helping me cope with the pain of fibromyalgia, but I still have a
complaint about the transaction at the county fair. The hunk-o-Aussie told me
that if I bought the complete package, he would come to my house and do the
dishes, the laundry and vacuuming. It’s a good thing the little massage unit is
holding up its end of the bargain, because I’m still waiting for the
illywacker* to come do my housework!
*illywacker: Australian term for
a con man who preys on the gullible at country shows and fairs
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